Confession No. 5814

I fell in love with the biggest asshole in the world. And he just so happened to be my best friend. We did everything together: Sang, wrote songs, laughed, cried, shopped, hugged, even held hands, and sometimes even shared an occasional kiss on the cheek. I thought he was the sweetest guy ever. He told me everything. We told each other each night, "I love you so much," and we argued about who loved who more. I never wanted to lose him. Actually, being completely honest, I still love him. Only maybe more than before. I want him, but I can't have him and I know it. We had our first Christmas together and it was wonderful. Then, one day it all went wrong. Everything went wrong. He must have gotten his man period. Yeah, that's what happened. That fucker ignored my every text, call, email, IM. What the hell? I broke down. Literally, I didn't want to see him. I turned into a flirt. I flirted with every single one of his friends. Luckily, they were all beautiful so I was alright. Months went by so quickly, I still couldn't get over him. He was there every where I went. So, I hit on the next guy to come along. It worked like a charm. He got jealous. But I didn't care; I was so addicted to hitting on guys that, when he texted me, I ignored him. I sought revenge but took it too far. I still want him to this day. He just won't listen anymore.