Oh my god, woman. You bring your fucking screaming little brat child in this library every day. And it ALWAYS makes a loud ass scene.
Take a hint.
This is a library, you fucking cunt.

Therapy. One of the best fucking songs of All Time Low. 
Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to. They’re better off without you, They’re better off without you.

My whole water bottle leaked out into my bag this morning.
And the girls that told me were like: ‘you know your bag is leaking, right?’
YES OF COURSE I KNOW, I JUST LIKE HAVING MY BAG AS A FUCKING WATER FEATURE

Put Me In The Car - Ryan Gosling

…this does funny things to me…

My Confession

I had 5 meals in the last 7 hours. I’m on a diet.

A story that makes me smile: 
Every single time I hungout with my girl friends in Germany, we’d all plan to get ready and go out to the club, but we always end up staying home for 5 more hours drinking vodka, smoking strawberry shisha, dressing up, and singing to Jet. :)
NASA’s WISE Mission Captures Black Hole’s Wildly Flaring Jet

Astronomers using NASA’s Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer (WISE) have captured rare data of a flaring black hole, revealing new details about these powerful objects and their blazing jets.

Scientists study jets to learn more about the extreme environments around black holes. Much has been learned about the material feeding black holes, called accretion disks, and the jets themselves, through studies using X-rays, gamma rays and radio waves. But key measurements of the brightest part of the jets, located at their bases, have been difficult despite decades of work. WISE is offering a new window into this missing link through its infrared observations.

READ MORE: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/WISE/news/wise20110920.html
You know when I realised I loved him? It was when I realised that anything that ever happened, good or bad, I wanted to tell him about. He was the first person I wanted to know, and I couldn’t wait to tell him, and talk to him, and listen to him and it’s like I love learning new things every time I talk to him.
Let's just talk & be friends again. I'm tired of playing this stranger game.
Honestly, I don't need someone that sees what's good about me. I need someone that sees the bad, and still wants me.

You know...

I usually don’t get all butthurt about this type of stuff. I legit got happy to go out last night. It seemed (at least to me) that I was invited to chill with some new people. I guess that wasn’t the case. The whole situation may have not been intentional.. I still was left feeling not wanted. I am sure some of you know that feeling of when you’re not wanted or needed.. It’s such a shitty feeling.

I am one of those people who are set in their ways. I figured I’d break out of that for the night to just go try new things. To meet new people… Like always it backfires on me.

I will be over this by the morning. Just feeling shitty right now.
There's always that one really nice person that you'll always feel awkward around.
That awkward moment when you can't find your friends & you're standing there looking like a loner...

My thoughts while in class at 8am:


  • I hate you
  • and you
  • and you
  • Shut the fuck up
  • You’re an idiot
  • Why am I here?
  • Stop talking
  • I hate you, too
  • You’re annoying
  • Shut up
  • Why are you talking?
  • SHUT
  • UP
  • and you, I hate you, too

William H. Woodwell Jr.

People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head—the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.
This police officer showed up at my apartment and I was in the middle of my movie and I didn't know who he was and he knocks on my door and my new roomie answers it and I hear serious talking and then I trudge down the steps...


...and I’m all “is everything okay?”
And the guy looks up at me and goes, “let me guess, Miss Breeny?”
And I’m all “yes...”
And he goes, “I pulled someone into custody yesterday. He said he knew you. His accomplice claimed the same.” And he paused and goes, “these two gangly guys said that you were the key to some string of murders on campus?”
And he’s completely serious and my roomie looks all pissed.
And I’m like “…what?”
And he goes on to continue and pulls a little note pad out of his pocket and says, “a mister Sam and Dean Winchester. Names sound familiar to you?”
And then the cop and my roomie start busting out laughing.
They’re old "high school" friends and my roomie thought it would be funny to play this practical joke on me.
I'm officially welcomed to America.

OH YEAH? TRUE BLOOD LAST NIGHT?!? WTF?

I SWEAR IF JESSICA DIES. I AM KILLING EVERYONE. =/
It’s good to know that i was freaking out for about three hours because i had no idea where my brother (he's visiting me in San Fran) was and he never answered his phone and then he just now comes home to tell me that he went all across town for a freaking special flavour of slim jim.
I'm sorry. Sometimes, I get jealous thinking that someone could make you happier than I could.

Carrie Bradshaw & Aidan Shaw: Sex and the City

I have a life, I was just making room for you in it.

They were different from the start, but I feel like Aidan really added to who Carrie was as a person through the course of their relationship. She had to face some of her fears and flaws with him. She saw that she wasn’t as emotionally available as she thought she was. But over time, she learned how to let someone in. Of course, their differences ultimately tore them apart, but the journey was still beautiful to watch. I feel like they really tried to make it work, but they just couldn’t because of who they were as people. I like that they loved each other enough to try and I think if they had met when Carrie was older, they could’ve worked things out.

Leonard & Penny, The Big Bang Theory

Okay, the cat’s alive.

I’ve been rooting for these two since minute one. Leonard is so adorably dorky and awkward and I’ve actually been pleased with the way their relationship has developed over the years, even though they have broken up. Because I know they’re the show’s endgame, and they’ll get there eventually. But Penny’s been burned by a lot of guys, and I think it’s gonna take her a long time to get over her fears about falling in love. I know she has feelings for Leonard, strong ones, but Leonard’s feelings for her don’t scare him the way her feelings for him scare her. Penny needs time, because I think she knows losing Leonard for good would hurt her more than losing any guy before him. He’s just different, and I don’t think she knows how to deal with that. And that was a big part of her arc last season. I’ve enjoyed the direction they’ve chosen to go here, because I feel it’s honest to Penny as a character. I’ll be interested to see where they take it from here.
I've been feeling better lately. The self-harm camp made me realise a lot about myself that I never knew.
Leaving in two weeks to start my time at The Academy of Art in San Francisco. I cannot fricking wait!
Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’, ‘evil’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.

embarrassing moment:

i was in my third year and there was this guy i liked. he lived in my village and was in the 4th year. i liked him very much. we would hang out all the time. so it was pyjama day and i was sick like i was able to go to school but i was still sick, this one point i didn’t feel so well so i went to the nurses office but they made me sit in the office and i see my crush there too & he started talking to me. i felt nauseous not even a minute later i puke all over the floor! it was so embarrassing & till this day it still haunts me!

I just read this:

‘Clumpy’ universe may force rethinking of cosmology
The universe appears to be clumpier than astronomers expected, according to the largest galaxy survey to date. The extra clumps could call for a redesign of the standard model of cosmology, and maybe a new understanding of how gravity works.
“Maybe on very large scales, Einstein’s general relativity is slightly wrong,” said cosmologist Shaun Thomas of University College London, lead author of a new paper in Physical Review Letters. “This potentially could be one of the first signs that something peculiar is going on.”
When viewed close up, the matter in the universe bunches up into stars, galaxies and galaxy clusters. But as you zoom out, cosmologists expect the universe to look more and more smooth, sort of the way details in an earthly landscape blend together when viewed from an airplane.
I want a late night adventure. I want someone to call me up and say, “I’m outside. Let’s go do something!” I want to go out late at night in my pj’s and my hair a mess. Maybe drive around. Go to a park and just swing on the swings. Maybe sit in the grass and watch the stars or maybe go to a 24 hour food place. I just want a late night adventure with people I like to be around. No drama. Nothing but good vibes and good company.
I need to stop ignoring Father’s Day and start embracing it. My father never treated his kids bad in any way, shape or form, so why should this day not mean anything to me? I think next year will be the first time I truly act like it’s Father’s day instead of acting like I don’t have a father at all. Because I do…and I always will. FOREVER.
I try my best not to let certain things get to me.. but you know sometimes, no matter how hard you try.. There's always that one thing that you can't forget, because it ain't that easy.
I'm such a baby, i'm gonna cry when I have to put contacts in. My eyes are tiny. Ahhhhhhh.
Just had a flashback where we were at your house during a family party. We were with the little kids and your best friend, so we couldn't kiss. Then you got an idea to put a blanket over us while we were laying down. We started kissing and your best friend pulled the blanket off of us and you yelled "fuck you" to him.
I miss when I was happy, I miss being friends with you, I miss dating you. I miss who you were, not the asshole you’ve become.
Anytime I hear the opening chords to “Dream On” by Aerosmith, before Steven Tyler starts to sing, I begin the lyrics to “Sing for the Moment” by Eminem.
It’s not that “Dream On” isn’t an awesome song in it’s own right without the sampling, it is, it’s probably my favorite Aerosmith song, but “Sing For the Moment” is my favorite Eminem song, and one of the ones I know all the lyrics to off the top of my head.
I don't understand why we have fire drills. If there's a fire, I'm not going to quietly line up outside the campus. Ugh.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend's guest finally says goodbye, but two hours later, they are still saying their goodbyes...

I'm like: you still here?

I'm sorry.

I now know what it is like to be kicked into a corner and completely left by your best friend. And I am truely sorry I did that to you… I miss you… and your family… and your dog… and your horse… and your hammock… and all the AMAZING times we had together… I miss going to your games because we were all each other had… I miss eating pork chops and turtle weenie (tortellini)… I miss swimming in your pool… I miss riding our bikes to class and going on “dates” when we got inside… I miss the summer when we would sit inside CVS because it was the closest place to us that had air conditioning… I am SO sorry about how we stopped being BEST FRIENDS, how I just told you I didn't like you and that was that… It wasn't cool…it was bitchy… and now I know what it feels like…it feels like PURE shit… I'm so sorry… Tell your parents i'm sorry I was a bitch to you… tell your brother to please forgive me if we ever do hang out again because I know how protective of you he is… </3

Boreddddddd today.

I like playful relationships:

I’ll call you names cause saying ‘babe’ all the time gets old. I’ll laugh at you. I’ll tease you. I’ll push your buttons just to see you get mad cause it’s cute. I’ll hit you playfully. I’ll hold you from behind and kiss you suddenly. I’ll jump on you out of nowhere. I’ll make stupid faces with you. We’ll do stupid things together.
If you think it’s necessary to judge me by my past, don’t get mad if I think it’s necessary to put you there.

Watching re-runs of Skins:

Emily: Do you ever get jealous, Cook?
Cook: If your shag isn’t just a shag,then you’re always going to get your
heart ripped out somewhere, aren’t you?
Emily: What do you do about it?
Cook: You just burn, kid.You just burn. You just keep it on the inside. 

Penny Lane, Almost Famous

“I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.”
It was yesterday in my last class. We weren’t doing anything in class and me and this guy were messing around with our lecturers camera and he just grabbed me and kissed me. It sounds sweet, but it was sloppy and he ended up licking my cheek. Hahaha, he’s like one of my best friends though so I didn’t care….too much!

You may not know it yet,  maybe you’ll never even think about it, but I’m special. You’re going to meet a lot  of girls throughout your life,  and a lot of them will be special to you. But I’m telling you right now,  you’ll never find another me.

That moment when you see something you didn’t want to see and your heart drops.

:(

15 Acronyms you hear everyday, but you never really stopped to find their meaning.


1. ZIP codeZone Improvement Plan code
2. M&M’s (chocolate): Mars & Murrie’s
3. Re: (in an email): Regarding (not reply!)
4. T9 (on mobiles): Texting on 9 keys
5. HTTPHypertext Transfer Protocol
6. LaserLight Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation
7. JPEGJoint Photographic Experts Group
8. IMAX (movies): Image Maximum
9. RadarRadio Detection and Ranging
10. LegoLeGodt (“play well” in Danish)
11. OkOll Korrect (“All Correct”)
12. Wi-fiWireless Fidelity
13. CAPTCHA (this): Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart
14. RSVPRépondez S‘il Vous Plaît (“Reply Please”)
15. Yahoo! (the website): Yet Another Hierarchial Official Oracle
I know it’s scary for you to put your feelings out there… cause you never know if the person you like is gonna like you back. Everyone feels that way, but you never know what might happen.
We use to be super close. Things were great between us. I loved having you around. You’re such a beautiful person, and I ruined everything between us. I’ve told you before that I’m sorry. I doubt you accepted it. I understand. I didn’t mean to let the cat out of the bag. I told you why it happened. Again, I’m truly sorry. I really wish we could be good friends again. I always imagined us being good friends, going out together to do some photography and teach you new things. I just wish we can both be happy as friends.

I never wanted this to happen.
Again, I’m sorry.
Me: Dad, how can I be sure if a guy really likes me or not?

Dad: If a guy really likes you, he would do whatever it takes to be yours. You see, there are two kinds of "being interested". One is, when a guy likes you but has his heart open to other girls. This is the kind that isn't so serious about being serious. The other kind of "being interested" is the kind that I want a guy to be interested in you. This is the kind whose eyes are set on you, and only you. No other girls. The one that sends you those long text messages on how much he means to you, gives you goodmorning and goodnight calls telling you to have a good day and to have sweet dreams. If a guy really wants to you to be his, he wouldn't be ashamed to introduce you his friends and even better, his family. I would want you to have a guy that when he looks into my daughter's eyes, he feels like he doesn't belong anywhere else but your heart.

Things that I am good at:

  • Pushing people away.

  • Sleeping.

  • Fucking things up.

  • Forgetting to text people back.

  • Eating food.

  • Crying.

  • Taking really long showers.

  • That awkward moment when you repeat a word so many times, that it loses its meaning, and it just sounds like a strange sound coming out of your mouth, then you’re not even sure if it’s a real word or not...
     
    Just got that.
    When you meet that one person that can put a smile on your face so easily, you forget about every person that put a frown on your face so easily.
    Yesterday I played Just Dance for like 5 hours and watched a movie with two of my good friends. Later that night I hung out with more people and found myself pretty bored. Yesterday I learned that I tend to put myself in awkward situations. I know I shouldn’t use the fact of me being too nice as an excuse but that’s what I blame it on. I learned that people are crazy and rude and I hate drunk people more than anything. The good things I learned out of the day was that sometimes you just need to have fun and just dance, seriously.

    Today I went to visit some friends at UNH, I learned that I hated it there. I learned that people these days are honestly not capable of keeping the same plans, everything always has to be changed or be made into something more complicated. I learned that I scare myself too easily and sometimes the only thing that will make me stop thinking is by blasting my music.
    Just a little piece I created in class today.

    I wish I had blue or green eyes.

    I just have brown eyes. :(

    CAN I JUST SHARE MY WEEKEND WITH THE WORLD BECAUSE IT WAS JUST AWESOME.

    So anyway, Friday:
    • Only had 3 hours of class.
    • Took a train to a new city to meet up with Sofia from Brazil.
    • Bought the cutest necklace charm thing ever.
    • Had some fucking delicious beer.
    • It was so ridiculously delicious, seriously.
    • Slept 12 hours.

    Saturday:
    • Woke up to the most perfect sunny weather.
    • Back to the city and met up with Katie from America!
    • Trip to the grocery store.
    • Made friends at the alcohol section.
    • Went back home.
    • Alcohol + junk food + shisha + whipped cream.
    • Took a bus back to the city with Josie.
    • Did a wedding ceremony for a random cute couple on the bus stop.
    • Went to the club, where there was apparently a live band.
    • Bumped into our alcohol supermarket friends.
    • Made a bajillion other new friends.
    • Ended up drinking and partying with the band too.
    Sunday:
    • Woke up again to the most glorious sunny day and no hangover.
    • Had breakfast out on the roof in shorts and shirt.
    • Highly doubt I got my tan again, but whatever.
    • Fucking delicious orgasmic food that Sofia’s mum made.
    • Got a call from my boyfriend and apparently he was back in town early.
    • Then I went back home, he was already there.
    • After not seeing him for so fucking long.
    • Had some more ridiculously fucking food at his house.
    • Went back home and realised I still had some chocolate in my bag.
    Seriously, you guys. Seriously.

    My first marriage.

    • I was at the bus stop with my friends....
    • ....and we saw the most adorable couple ever.
    • So I went up to them and asked if they wanted to get married....
    • ....and I could totally conduct their wedding....
    • ....like....right then....
    • ....and they’re like “you serious?”
    • ....and i’m like “yeah dude.”
    • ....and they let me.
    • ....and I had no idea what their names were, but I knew they were Russian.
    • So I started, “do you, Russian dude, take this Russian lady, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
    • ....and he said, “I do!”
    • ....and I went, “and do you, Russian lady, take this dude to be your lawfully wedded Russian?”
    • ....and she said, “I do!”
    • ....and I said, “KISS HER NOW!”
    • ....and he did.....
    • ....and now they’re married.
    • That was March 20th, around 1AM.
    Banded Sea Krait (photo: David Fleetham)
    The banded sea krait’s lethal venom packs a punch ten times more toxic than a rattlesnake’s, but fortunately these serpents are so meek that human bites are rare. Kraits cruise the shallow, tropical waters of coral reefs and mangrove swamps. But, alone among the sea snakes, they are amphibious and able to spend up to ten days at a time on land. Sea kraits hit the beach to digest their food (mostly eels and fish), mate, and lay eggs.

    I ACCIDENTALLY KICKED ONE OF THESE ONCE.
    I was snorkeling with my parents on the Coral Reef and I thought it was a plastic hose or something and I wanted to pick it up cause it’d probably be really bad for the environment! So I tried picking it up with my feet…. then it popped it’s head out of under the coral and it looked at me and I looked at it and recognised what it was and I was like: OMG, IT'S YOU!
    I’ve never swam away faster in my entire life.

    I’ve been having a wonderful Thursday so far.....

    • I’ve been eating my cereal....
    • Watching my 90’s Nickelodeon....
    • Singing along to the theme songs at the start of each episode....
    • Rocket Power, Cow and Chicken, I R Baboon....
    • I’m up to Johnny Bravo now....
    • “Hey, military mama! Ever seen guns like these?" *Flexes arms* "HUH HAH HUH”
    • I love that guy.
    • No wonder i’m so into blondes.

    I fucking love this song.

    Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow!

    DAD WAS PROUD.

    He didn’t care how.

    *Music starts*

    COW

    *More music*

    CHICKEN

    *Music music*

    COW AND CHICKEN!

    That person who I think about at 2am in the morning means more to me then I think...

    I think the most beautiful people are the ones who went through the toughest situations in life but still manage to keep a smile on their face, especially if they have a bright personality to go along with that smile.

    Keep Japan in your prayers.

    Today, March 11, Japan has suffered the repercussions of an 8.9 earthquake. A tsunami more than 10 meters high enveloped the North. Over 100 people have been killed and the damage is extensive. Now more than 20 countries, including Indonesia & the West Coast of North America are alerted for tsunami watch.

    I hope no other country suffers the same fate.
    I'm to lazy to study.

    I get my Chemistry results tomorrow...

    I can see a big fat F coming my way.
    £18.50 I think it is for a resit…
    Thats £46.25 i’ve spent on resits atm…
    Aww, idk why but one of my science lecturers was like: ‘even if you left the science room right now for a bit to have sex and came back with a baby, not even they could count it.’

    What?
    Ok, so me and Matty were backstage at the uni stage today and were in the dressing up area of the backstagey part. Anyway we had to walk to the other end and nd when we got there we saw a girl with fake blood all over het, a torch, cellotape over her mouth and she was in a wheelchair. I almost wet myself.
    Imagine if you met your favourite band and they didn't like you....
    Be careful if you make women cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s ribs. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal, under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.

    I'm loving this chat in the common room about sex...

    We’ve talked about the best places, the worst places, the funniest, the longest, the amount of people we’ve had sex with…
    Stop fantasising about getting your nipples pierced, hips tattooed and clit caressed by Evil Presley and get out there.. Jump in every puddle, dive into every freezing lake you can, skinny dip at the seaside and find true love. Cos life’s for living and somehow I think we’re just about doing all we can to see unicorns and glitter, when the real picture’s just a blur, something to unfold. So let the good times roll on...

    March 14th: International Steak & Blowjob Day....

    Just letting you all know.

    Confession No. 33074

    I know I will never be good enough for you, but I also know I'll never stop trying.
    I got invited to a “Post-It” note show in Barcelona at the Atticus Gallery on May 5th.

    I did about 20 post-its just now. :')

    What the hell is wrong with you?

    So you go to a festival and would rather watch Crystal Castles than Blink..
    I think I'm afraid of being happy. Because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens.
    I loved you, you made me, hate me.
    You gave me, hate, see?
    It saved me and these tears are deadly.
    You feel that?
    I rip back, every time you tried to steal that.
    You feel bad? You feel sad?
    I’m sorry, hell no, fuck that!
    It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife.
    This strife it dies, this life and these lies.
    And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you.

    Anyone else guilty of this?

    Sucking up to your lecturers by making them feel good about their jokes to get a good grade.
    As a second semester senior I have my priorities straight, FAN ART.
    Go for what makes you happy in life, regardless of how unrealistic it seems.
    I wish I still had a phone that could download ringtones.

    When Jackie texts, it’s not the same if it’s just a generic T-Mobile ringtone that sounds like saccharine-sweet concentrated annoyance, her ringtone being “The Bleeding” by Five Finger Death Punch just fit.

    Same with my ex-roommate and “About a Girl” by Nirvana. It just fits. That’s how I identify who’s calling/texting me and usually, gets me in the neccessary mindset.

    A pic from last night....

    Oh fuck my ass looks huge.
    I need to find the guy on campus who is putting these up. He seriously has my sense of humour.
    FUCK SAKE IF SHE DIDN’T WEAR ALL THAT FUCKING MAKE UP AND HAVE PERFECT HAIR YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BUM OFF HER.

    So....

    So, Scout did that “sloganmaker” thing. I decided to try it….

    I got: “Naughty Little Claire”

    I’ll accept that. Haha.
    So what? That proves my point - he doesn't deserve you in his life. He is an asshole. Let him go, let him delete you off Facebook, let him do whatever the fuck he wants because he's not worth your tears, he's not worth anything. If he tries to talk to you, walk away. Don't let him get under your skin, the deep you let him get the more hurt you become.
    I hate it when I’m the reason my friends became friends with my other friends And they become like best friends. And they hang out and talk about it in my face like nonstop and plan what they’re doing for the weekends also in front of my face. Like thanks for including me.

    I went to some music competition today...


    And I met this guy that I’ve been talking to on MSN for a while for the first time in real life. He plays bass. 

    When we came home from the competition, he couldn't stop bragging about how he’s the fucking god of bass. 

    at least he’s hot

    Seriously, everywhere I look there’s happy couples.

    I think i'm becoming depressed.
    “Ew, you like him? He’s ugly though.”
     
    Glad you think that. Less competition.
    That awkward moment when everyone talks about losing weight and i'm just sat there like...*stuffing my face with a cream bun*

    4 days until Barcelona!

    4 days til seeing Dad again.
    4 days til sexy Spanish accents.
    4 days til possible spontaneous dance party on the streets.
    4 days til shopping til i’m broke.
    4 days til SPAIN, SPAIN, SPAIN!
    I was at university today and some guy in my class who has never talked to me before handed me a whole box of Harry Potter valentine card.
     
    And he was all “I heard you liked Harry Potter too, so thought you’d like them.”

    Then he gave me a small bag of sweets and walked away.

    I MUST MARRY HIM.

    God damn now I'm hungry.

    I really really want McDonalds. UGHHHH AHHHHHH, why don’t we have that?!

    Or KFC. Or Burger King. Or.. or.. Nandos. Or Frankie and Benny's. Or Pizza Hut.

    OR ANY OTHER PLACE I WANT.

    In class, me and Lala said we wanted to DJ at civil partnerships.

    Our playlist:-
    ‘I'm Coming Out’
    ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’
    ‘Too Sexy For My Shirt’
    ‘It's Raining

    We're cute.

    Believe In Me - Demi Lovato

    Listen to it.
    Appreciate it.
    Love it.
    Hot patootie, bless my soul. I really love that rock and roll!

    Red Hot Chili Peppers - Scar Tissue

    Ugh. This was mine and Jackie’s song.
    Rules of a crime scene:
    1. No giggling
    2. No kittens (unless they are John Watson)

    Confession No. 2

    I know I say ‘I don’t give a shit’, but deep down, I really do.

    Imagine if you called a wrong number, and the person you called was a celebrity... What events would ensue?

    250000 multicoloured balls bouncing down the streets of San Francisco.

    Three things:

    1. Someone asks me a question & I try to act dumb, so, I won’t have to answer it.
    2. Isn’t it so sad when you get hurt to much you can finally say, "I’m used to it."
    3. YOU’RE A FUCKING SLUTTYASS BITCH.
    Not saying I hate my name or anything, but when my friend calls it 9 times in a row with her fucking German accent it makes me want to murder myself.

    So what did we learn this week, kids?

  • My friend became my ex-friend because of the ‘blue waffle’ incident.

  • Australia does have something called the big banana.

  • Lidia taught me what octopus girl was - do NOT watch.

  • Whoever introduced me to Ellie Goulding is amazing.
  • It’s the hardest thing ever having one of your best friends in hysterical tears down the phone and all you want to do is murder the person/people responsible.

    We’re having cheese fondue for dinner tonight.

    Sounds well weird but basically, it involves bacon, potatoes and cheese so, erm, it's yum.

    Okay so the bacon fries or cooks or whatever bacon does when its on the top, and you can put other shit to cook there too, and then the cheese goes in the triangle things and melts and once its melted you put it on your potato on your plate and ooh baby do you know what that's worth, "ooh heaven is a place on earth".
    I know i’m not the most gorgeous or skinnest of girls, I know I don’t have the best personality ever and I understand I have hurt people in the past but I do not deserve this at all. It isn’t fair.

    I'm in that mood.....

    .....when I just want to annoy E V E R Y O N E and make stupid little comments about everything you see.

    My dearest Andreas,

    You were one of the first real friends I made here in Germany, and now you’re leaving to go back to Finland. I always knew that we’d eventually have to say goodbye, but it’s hard to accept that we won’t be planning trips to the city together anymore. I guess that’s the hard part about being an exchange student, or someone who’s always traveling in general: the goodbyes. Regardless, i’m happy I met you and I know that won’t be the last time we’ll see each other! Rakastan sinua, pannukakku! See you in Finland.

    Love love love, Claire.

    P.s. I know it was just yesterday, but I already miss you so much!
    It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, in mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens but its never gone.

    Free food? Ok, i'll go.

    My geology professor forced our class to join her "science club" or something. She seduced us with Bagels.

    Ugh.

    I hate nights more than anything.
    All I fucking do is sit here and cry because I miss Nick so much.
    I’m so fucking lost without him here right now.
    I’m so lonely. I just want to be able to cuddle up next to him and fall asleep, but I can’t do that.
    I just want to hold him more than anything in this world.
    I just wish he was here.

    Confession No. 7131

    I want to find someone who actually loves me for me.

    I am drunk blogging....

    “Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good and stuff.”
    That song has been stuck in my head the whole night. OMG.
    I’m tipsay and sad and it’s not good.
    I took a train to the city to say goodbye to Andreas.
    Because he’s leaving us for good and flying back to Finland next week.
    And I ams sad because of that because it’s sad.
    WHY ANDREAS WHY?!
    I got bored in class...
    DON’T PRETEND THAT YOU DIDN’T CRY THE FIRST TIME YOU LISTENED TO THIS.

    New Hair (again)

    LOL - I like live in my deaf havana t-shirts.
    I love that awkward stare that someone gives you when you’re on a computer in class and you’re not doing something coursework related, haha. Like they want to just come over and slap you and take the computer. I’m got so many of those looks today.

    I recieved a letter back home and my mum forwarded it to me in Germany:

    Dear Claire,

    Okay, well um. Where to start? You’ll probably never read this. In fact, chances are it won’t even reach you. I’m probably just writing this for myself, you know. For therapeutic reasons. I guess I should just say all this stuff. Especially by now, but it helps to write things down or else I stutter and forget, and generally make an idiot of myself.

    It’s September 3rd today. That means it would have been our two years and 6 months anniversary. You know I always complained that month anniversaries were for twelve year olds but you always kinda liked the idea so happy hypothetical anniversary. I know you’d probably roll your eyes at me, bringing that up and I’m aware that it’s been well over a year since now you, uh, left me. Well one year, three months, and sixteen days. I think right now, I’ve finished the process you know? And I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to come back—ever. And I think I’m out of the phase where I just lie on my floor hoping that you’d just turn up on my doorstep. You know what, I’m doing okay. Getting there, baby steps.

    I’ve even um, I’ve even been sorta seeing a girl. Jess, is her name. They’re going to keep telling it’s a, you know, a positive step in getting over you and stuff. And don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice girl but, different. It’s funny. Your muscles have a certain memory about them. That’s why we can tie our shoes or play piano without looking. But then you spend a long enough time with someone and your bodies memorize each other you know? The warmth of your back, the pace of your heartbeat, your tickly eyelashes and the way your fingers would curl in sequence when I used to play with your palm. Another person is like moving to a new country where you don’t know the language. It’s a scary thing. And she voluntarily eats celery. Who does that?

    You know people are always on about, “You’ll find someone else! There’s plenty more fish in the sea!” Well you know what, I feel like a friggin’ fish in a bucket. I’ve been reading lots. Non-fiction mostly. Did I ever tell you about the theory of the multi-verse? It says that there’s an infinite amount of hypothetical universes parallel to ours that contain every single possible set of circumstances. Kinda got me thinking you know? Means that somewhere, there might be a world in which on that 15th of February, we never had that argument, and I didn’t say all those things I didn’t mean, and you didn’t walk away without another word. Or maybe there’s another world in which I—chased after you. And we’d still be together and catch the train together, and do couply things and have bubble tea with those god-awful slimy globules of jelly down the bottom which I hate.

    Sometimes, on my way, I walk past your house and every time I do, I get this weird urge to knock on the door which is stupid because I know you wouldn’t answer it. Well, in any case, it’s technically your old house now. You’re—nowadays, you’re quite far away with your new life and all. I wonder if you even remember me sometimes. I—I wish you’d talk to me. Give me some vague sign that you do remember. ‘Cause you know what? I’m not doing well, life is actually pretty shit. And look at me. I’ve gone this whole page without using the L-word once so far. But looking at it objectively, realistically I—I’d say that I still love you. And I’m kinda afraid I won’t ever really stop—loving you. I hope they’re treating you well up there because I miss you more than ever.

    Love, Shaun.

    Sometimes when I look up at the stars, I feel so little.

    They’re so high up, so beautiful, and so fucking far away.

    I end up feeling like the littlest thing on the planet when I look at them and then I just get overwhelmed with this feeling and I want to be up there with all the stars and I want to dance and I want to fly and I want to fly and I want to fly.

    So I try.

    I run and run and run. In the middle of the dark, empty streets, I run like a crazy person. Then I jump as high as I can.

    And sometimes, even just for a second, I feel like I am flying. Then I’m back on my feet again.

    I’m not embarrassed, but it’s kind of lonely trying to fly all alone with you literally just watching me try the impossible. Maybe one day, you’ll try with me. And maybe one day, we’ll fly away together.

    What’s a nice acoustic love song?

    Tough question. But I guess i’d say my favorite love song would be “Poor Song [hidden track]” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Don’t know if you’d call it acoustic, but it’s unplugged Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Not your typical love song. But still…this song gives me hope every time I listen to it.

    Baby I’m afraid of a lot of things but
    I ain’t scared of loving you
    And baby I know you’re afraid of a lot of things
    But don’t be scared of love

    Well I’ve been dragged all over the place
    I’ve taken hits time just don’t erase
    And baby I can see you’ve been fucked with too
    But that don’t mean your loving days are through
    ‘Cause people will say all kinds of things
    But that don’t mean a damn to me
    ‘Cause all I see is what’s in front of me
    And that’s you

    Well I may be just a fool
    But I know you’re just as cool
    And cool kids, they belong together
    I got bored last night...

    I hope the vocalist from Defiler realises how retarded he looks.

    They need to stop making music videos….
    I don’t know what else to say…
    I cannot take them seriously.

    I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder.

    Djokovic or Murray?

    I don’t know, I’m the most indecisive person ever! I love them both…but since I have to choose one, I’m gonna have to go for Djokovic. So yes, Djokovic ftw!!
    I love finding photos of myself. :)
    People don't cut because they listen to MCR. People listen to MCR because they cut.
    I just found this pic of one of my tattoos.

    You, sir, win at life.

    “Boomy is having the baby! Get her to the hospital or safely home and await the arrival!” Sims reference ftw.
    I am still wearing the Dimmu Borgir shirt I bought yesterday.

    Anyone got some corpse paint? It’ll complete this outfit.

    This is the only god damn thing I’m going to say about this.

    IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME TO STOP TALKING TO YOU, THAN DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME.
    Don’t sit there, calling me pathetic, telling me you feel sorry for me, and telling me what to do with my Facebook. YOU’RE pathetic. YOU’RE the one stalking me. YOU’RE the one who can’t let shit go.
    That’s the difference between me and you. I can let go of shit AND REALISE IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ME, and you can’t. GROW THE FUCK UP.

    I wish I was watching this film with someone else physically.

    Or at the restaurant cross campus.

    I could be getting free crisps and dip and eating wings and mozzarella sticks.

    Damn I want to go out to eat.
    I don’t get why all my friends are becoming this huge “OMG I LOVE MARIJUANA” group. When did this happen and am I the only one who see’s it?! My conversations have been nothing but POT GREEN MARIJUANA WEED; whatever you want to call it… I get it.. You like marijuana; but do you have to talk about it 298347 times in a row?!

    I Can Talk - Two Door Cinema Club

    Been stuck in my head all day!
    My new contempary art class made me realise just how much I LOVE art.

    3 Things:

    Sometimes I feel like I won’t ever be good enough. Or perhaps anything more than ‘enough’.

    My chemistry professor is nice but definitely weird. I don’t really mind it though.

    The awkward moment where you’re really not that great but you have so many people obsessed with you.

    What do you say to taking chances?

    I wish I could anonymously mail this picture to my future husband so he knows that this is the place/time of year that he should propose to me.
    And the sad thing is, we're just friends.
    How sick do you have to be to get satisfaction from calling people ugly and fat?
     
    I would love to see the supermodel looks you all have.
    Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It just means you've been strong for too long.

    You know he's a keeper when....

    You both know there’s a lot of girls after him, but he acts like you’re the only girl in his world. When he’s the first one to text you good morning and goodnight. When he looks past your imperfections - he thinks you still look cute without your make up on. He makes promises that he can keep. When he wouldn’t mind to just cuddle with you, than make.

    Term exams tomorrow.

    Just kill me now.

    Imagine having your period on your wedding day...

    :O
    All I Want - A Day to Remember
    LISTEN TO THIS SONG.
    I wonder if you ever stop and think, 'man I miss her, I really fucked up'.

    I am so excited for this summer! I am going on a Mediterranean cruise, leaves from Spain and goes to France and Italy. Then I am going to go to London after the cruise. So excited.

    Ugh. I hate fighting with Nick, especially when it’s my fault. I fucking hate being on my period for this reason. I bitch him out for no reason, and it leads to us to fighting. Ugh. It doesn’t help that both of us are stubborn as fuck.

    Ohkay, you’re fucking 22 years old. Learn to accept a God damn apology.

    Ohkay, fuck this. Because ignoring me is really going to solve this. What-fucking-ever.

    FML

    Driving to the train station to pick up drunk Amy and drunk Samara and drop them off at their dorms.

    And doodles when I was away....

    Finally finished this piece of work.
    13 year old Jordan Rice died in the Queensland floods trying to save his brother.


    I have tears in my eyes, this sweet little angel missed out on his whole life from this tragedy.


    I heard about this story on the radio. He told the rescue team to take his little brother who was perched up on his shoulders. They rescued his little brother but by the time they came around to rescuing him he’d already passed away. He is a hero and everyone needs to know the braveness and love he had.

    Last night...

    I legit broke the heel off my shoe. I’ve never seen that happen except in movies.

    Paramore - In The Mourning

    Awesome song.

    Been exploring Europe for a week...

    ...had a blast.
    
    I am visiting there soon. :)
    

    Two life lessons:

    Don’t make decisions when you’re angry, and don’t make promises when you’re happy.

    What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest. So, say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying “I could’ve, but it’s too late now.”

    We all hear it every day, the old cliché, “life is short.” But I don’t think many of us really understand how short it is. We don’t understand how important each day is and how much we are going to look back and regret our wasted days. The days we didn’t laugh or smile enough, the days we didn’t do something that really makes us happy, the days that we didn’t make a change we needed to make. So, here it is again. Life is short. Don’t leave anything unsaid, don’t intentionally hurt anyone and don’t leave the things in your life that you want to change.

    Being from Sheffield...

    I love the Arctic Monkeys.

    And... Kate Nash - Fluorescent Adolescent (a Arctic Monkeys cover) is awesome also.
    Nights are the worst for me, during the day it's not so bad because I'm usually pretty busy. I've been falling asleep holding my phone in hopes that he might be able to call me, even for just a second. But nights are the worst.
    Guess what I played tonight? ;)

    The Pursuit of Happiness

    Don’t ever let somebody tell you, you can’t do something, you got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves they’re gonna tell you, you can’t do it. If you want something go get it.

    When university starts again:

    • Fucked up sleeping schedule.
    • Ugly handwriting forever.
    • Waking up so freaking early.
    • Forgot there’s coursework/projects due.
    • Seeing the bitches you hate.
    • Stupid lecturers who gives you too much work.
    • Coursework all day, everyday.
    • Same shit, different day.

    Long distance relationships are fucking beautiful.

    Some of you need to take the time to think about it. To realise that you in fact can fall in love with someone you’ve never met. Distance is a number. Age is a number. How can you judge a relationship on a number? No, long distance isn’t easy. It’s not easy at all. It’s hard as fuck, you need to put your whole heart into it and push harder than you ever have before. But wanna know what it’s all about? Trust. That’s the main thing. That should be the main thing in any relationship. Not sex, not being able to feel the person to touch the person everyday. But trust, trust and love. Why should you let distance get in the way of your feelings? Being in a long distance relationship is beautiful, think about it. Think about the feeling, the excitement you’d get when you got to meet them for the very first time, touch them for the first time. So all you fuckheads who think it’s disgusting and pathetic. Think again. It’s beautiful.
    I had a lazy pink day. (:
    I hate that feeling when you’re about to cry and you’re with some friends or family but you just don’t want to cry in front of them because you don’t want to explain why you’re crying since you can’t find the right words, and you stay quiet like nothing happened when you have so much in mind.
    Now not only am I physically sick over everything that’s going on with Nick, I just found out that my dad took my sister to the rugby game, and she HATES rugby. She just texted me, and said that she was at the game and bored. YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH. I AM PISSED.

    If you can’t put your heart into it, then take your whole self out of it.

    Ask me what I want to do with my life. Ask me what I want to be. Truth is, I don’t know if I want to be anything. I want to travel the world. I want to see everything there is to see, and take pictures of it all. I want love and friendship and memories. I want freedom. I want my life to be absolutely full of adventure. I want to live, and I mean really live.

    The awkward moment when you drop something in a store and can't put it back properly...

    It falls off and your desperately trying to put it back when you feel someone watching you, then the saleslady looks at you like you're trying to steal it.

    >.<
    Sam- I met Sam only this summer. She is an amazing friend. She is beautiful, too. I used to drive 45 minutes just to go to her house. She moved not even a week ago to Scotland. We have been video chatting since. I will always miss my best friend. I always go to Sam when I need her, she is always there to help. That is what I love about her the most.

    Erica- I met her in year 7. She hated me. She excluded me from games and gave me mean looks. In year 8, we became friends. She practically lives at my house (in England). I trust her a lot, but I feel she will judge me. So I don’t tell her much, but then she finds out and gets angry. But that’s okay, we can never stop being friends. She is also allergic to nuts, like deathly allergic. It is scary. I don’t like eating around her because I am scared of her safety. She knows what to eat, but I still make sure she isn’t going to, you know, die. I know how to use her epi-pen so I always make sure I am near it. If anything happened to her, I would die.

    Olya- I’ve known her since comprehensive as well, she is a great person. She was suicidal, she has cut. But she overcame it. She was hospitalised once for a week, I was one of the only ones on the call list. She only could call me and my other good friend, Jordan. I love her so much, I went to her for help so many times. She knows me better than I know myself. She may move to CANADA! If she does, I will not be happy.

    George- I met george this year at uni, he is hilarious. He knows how to cheer me up. And he is always there for me. Our conversations scare other people, it makes me happy. Haha, we talk about anything and it is so random. Whenever I am sad, he calls me and makes sure I am fine. He lives 45 minutes away as well, but we still try to hang out a lot.

    Patrick- This boy I liked in year 7 for a little bit, I liked him on and off since. He is one of the people I trust the most. He is one of the best friends i’ve ever haad. And it is great. I know he will always be there for me. But the thing is, I kinda fell for him. I don’t love him, I just like him a lot. But he still likes one of my friends and it sucks. I want him to find me beautiful and love me. She broke his heart too many times, he deserves someone else.

    Five Things I Can’t Live Without:


    1. My friends,
    take a moment, promise me this, that you’ll stand by me forever.
    2. Music,
    people haven’t always been there for me but music always has.
    3. Laughing,
    I love people who make me laugh.
    4. Attractive boys,
    not psychotic or dramatic, I like boys and that is that.
    5. Love,I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.

    1 thing:

    The lingering question kept me up, 2 AM, who do you love? I wonder ‘til I’m wide awake.