CAN I JUST SHARE MY WEEKEND WITH THE WORLD BECAUSE IT WAS JUST AWESOME.

So anyway, Friday:

• Only had 3 hours of class.
• Took a train to a new city to meet up with Sofia from Brazil.
• Bought the cutest necklace charm thing ever.
• Had some fucking delicious beer.
• It was so ridiculously delicious, seriously.
• Slept 12 hours.

Saturday:

• Woke up to the most perfect sunny weather.
• Back to the city and met up with Katie from America!
• Trip to the grocery store.
• Made friends at the alcohol section.
• Went back home.
• Alcohol + junk food + shisha + whipped cream.
• Took a bus back to the city with Josie.
• Did a wedding ceremony for a random cute couple on the bus stop.
• Went to the club, where there was apparently a live band.
• Bumped into our alcohol supermarket friends.
• Made a bajillion other new friends.
• Ended up drinking and partying with the band too.

Sunday:

• Woke up again to the most glorious sunny day and no hangover.
• Had breakfast out on the roof in shorts and shirt.
• Highly doubt I got my tan again, but whatever.
• Fucking delicious orgasmic food that Sofia’s mum made.
• Got a call from my boyfriend and apparently he was back in town early.
• Then I went back home, he was already there.
• After not seeing him for so fucking long.
• Had some more ridiculously fucking food at his house.
• Went back home and realised I still had some chocolate in my bag.

Seriously, you guys. Seriously.

My first marriage.

• I was at the bus stop with my friends....
• ....and we saw the most adorable couple ever.
• So I went up to them and asked if they wanted to get married....
• ....and I could totally conduct their wedding....
• ....like....right then....
• ....and they’re like “you serious?”
• ....and i’m like “yeah dude.”
• ....and they let me.
• ....and I had no idea what their names were, but I knew they were Russian.
• So I started, “do you, Russian dude, take this Russian lady, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
• ....and he said, “I do!”
• ....and I went, “and do you, Russian lady, take this dude to be your lawfully wedded Russian?”
• ....and she said, “I do!”
• ....and I said, “KISS HER NOW!”
• ....and he did.....
• ....and now they’re married.
• That was March 20th, around 1AM.

Banded Sea Krait (photo: David Fleetham)
The banded sea krait’s lethal venom packs a punch ten times more toxic than a rattlesnake’s, but fortunately these serpents are so meek that human bites are rare. Kraits cruise the shallow, tropical waters of coral reefs and mangrove swamps. But, alone among the sea snakes, they are amphibious and able to spend up to ten days at a time on land. Sea kraits hit the beach to digest their food (mostly eels and fish), mate, and lay eggs.

I ACCIDENTALLY KICKED ONE OF THESE ONCE.
I was snorkeling with my parents on the Coral Reef and I thought it was a plastic hose or something and I wanted to pick it up cause it’d probably be really bad for the environment! So I tried picking it up with my feet…. then it popped it’s head out of under the coral and it looked at me and I looked at it and recognised what it was and I was like: OMG, IT'S YOU!
I’ve never swam away faster in my entire life.

I’ve been having a wonderful Thursday so far.....

• I’ve been eating my cereal....
• Watching my 90’s Nickelodeon....
• Singing along to the theme songs at the start of each episode....
• Rocket Power, Cow and Chicken, I R Baboon....
• I’m up to Johnny Bravo now....
• “Hey, military mama! Ever seen guns like these?" *Flexes arms* "HUH HAH HUH”
• I love that guy.
• No wonder i’m so into blondes.

I fucking love this song.

Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow!

DAD WAS PROUD.

He didn’t care how.

*Music starts*

COW

*More music*

CHICKEN

*Music music*

COW AND CHICKEN!

That person who I think about at 2am in the morning means more to me then I think...

I think the most beautiful people are the ones who went through the toughest situations in life but still manage to keep a smile on their face, especially if they have a bright personality to go along with that smile.

Keep Japan in your prayers.

Today, March 11, Japan has suffered the repercussions of an 8.9 earthquake. A tsunami more than 10 meters high enveloped the North. Over 100 people have been killed and the damage is extensive. Now more than 20 countries, including Indonesia & the West Coast of North America are alerted for tsunami watch.

I hope no other country suffers the same fate.

I'm to lazy to study.

I get my Chemistry results tomorrow...

I can see a big fat F coming my way.
£18.50 I think it is for a resit…
Thats £46.25 i’ve spent on resits atm…

Aww, idk why but one of my science lecturers was like: ‘even if you left the science room right now for a bit to have sex and came back with a baby, not even they could count it.’

What?

Ok, so me and Matty were backstage at the uni stage today and were in the dressing up area of the backstagey part. Anyway we had to walk to the other end and nd when we got there we saw a girl with fake blood all over het, a torch, cellotape over her mouth and she was in a wheelchair. I almost wet myself.

Imagine if you met your favourite band and they didn't like you....

Be careful if you make women cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s ribs. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal, under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.

I'm loving this chat in the common room about sex...

We’ve talked about the best places, the worst places, the funniest, the longest, the amount of people we’ve had sex with…

Stop fantasising about getting your nipples pierced, hips tattooed and clit caressed by Evil Presley and get out there.. Jump in every puddle, dive into every freezing lake you can, skinny dip at the seaside and find true love. Cos life’s for living and somehow I think we’re just about doing all we can to see unicorns and glitter, when the real picture’s just a blur, something to unfold. So let the good times roll on...

March 14th: International Steak & Blowjob Day....

Just letting you all know.

Confession No. 33074

I know I will never be good enough for you, but I also know I'll never stop trying.

I got invited to a “Post-It” note show in Barcelona at the Atticus Gallery on May 5th.

I did about 20 post-its just now. :')

What the hell is wrong with you?

So you go to a festival and would rather watch Crystal Castles than Blink..

I think I'm afraid of being happy. Because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens.

I loved you, you made me, hate me.
You gave me, hate, see?
It saved me and these tears are deadly.
You feel that?
I rip back, every time you tried to steal that.
You feel bad? You feel sad?
I’m sorry, hell no, fuck that!
It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife.
This strife it dies, this life and these lies.
And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you.

Anyone else guilty of this?

Sucking up to your lecturers by making them feel good about their jokes to get a good grade.

As a second semester senior I have my priorities straight, FAN ART.

Go for what makes you happy in life, regardless of how unrealistic it seems.

I wish I still had a phone that could download ringtones.

When Jackie texts, it’s not the same if it’s just a generic T-Mobile ringtone that sounds like saccharine-sweet concentrated annoyance, her ringtone being “The Bleeding” by Five Finger Death Punch just fit.

Same with my ex-roommate and “About a Girl” by Nirvana. It just fits. That’s how I identify who’s calling/texting me and usually, gets me in the neccessary mindset.