I've been feeling better lately. The self-harm camp made me realise a lot about myself that I never knew.

Leaving in two weeks to start my time at The Academy of Art in San Francisco. I cannot fricking wait!

Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’, ‘evil’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.

embarrassing moment:

i was in my third year and there was this guy i liked. he lived in my village and was in the 4th year. i liked him very much. we would hang out all the time. so it was pyjama day and i was sick like i was able to go to school but i was still sick, this one point i didn’t feel so well so i went to the nurses office but they made me sit in the office and i see my crush there too & he started talking to me. i felt nauseous not even a minute later i puke all over the floor! it was so embarrassing & till this day it still haunts me!

I just read this:

‘Clumpy’ universe may force rethinking of cosmology

The universe appears to be clumpier than astronomers expected, according to the largest galaxy survey to date. The extra clumps could call for a redesign of the standard model of cosmology, and maybe a new understanding of how gravity works.

“Maybe on very large scales, Einstein’s general relativity is slightly wrong,” said cosmologist Shaun Thomas of University College London, lead author of a new paper in Physical Review Letters. “This potentially could be one of the first signs that something peculiar is going on.”

When viewed close up, the matter in the universe bunches up into stars, galaxies and galaxy clusters. But as you zoom out, cosmologists expect the universe to look more and more smooth, sort of the way details in an earthly landscape blend together when viewed from an airplane.

I want a late night adventure. I want someone to call me up and say, “I’m outside. Let’s go do something!” I want to go out late at night in my pj’s and my hair a mess. Maybe drive around. Go to a park and just swing on the swings. Maybe sit in the grass and watch the stars or maybe go to a 24 hour food place. I just want a late night adventure with people I like to be around. No drama. Nothing but good vibes and good company.

I need to stop ignoring Father’s Day and start embracing it. My father never treated his kids bad in any way, shape or form, so why should this day not mean anything to me? I think next year will be the first time I truly act like it’s Father’s day instead of acting like I don’t have a father at all. Because I do…and I always will. FOREVER.

I try my best not to let certain things get to me.. but you know sometimes, no matter how hard you try.. There's always that one thing that you can't forget, because it ain't that easy.